#ThisISMyChild A child with ASD and ADHD

Image found on Facebook

Image found on Facebook

 

This morning I received an email regarding a new campaign #ThisIsMyChild from MNHQ, I didn’t think much of it to be perfectly honest as the twitter party to highlight it was whilst I was working, so I would read it tonight whilst sat upstairs in a room with a single bed and an 8 yr old still bouncing at midnight.2004_1031tbs0005

ThisISMyChild is a campaign around Children with additional needs, specifically those who have behavioral issues, let me start at the beginning.

I spent 9 months yes a full term baby with no difficulties except my body wasn’t so keen on the additional weight I was carrying and gave me some hip issues, a perfectly happy baby boy arrived and we were elated as were his siblings.

We sat and watched, nurtured this beautiful boy with a few concerns, concerns which grew the older he got, his milestones where not being met, he seemed delayed in everything from holding his head up, to teeth coming through to even talking. For any parent this is worrying, by the time his was 2 1/2yrs old the time we needed to help him grow and teach him the basics of education were starting on a learning curve, a curve which takes us down a different road to many, we needed to learn new methods of trying to get this boy to talk, of course we had done what all parents do when they were children but it didn’t work, he didn’t even attempt to make any sounds, he didn’t sleep, he sat and lined cars up all round the room in order of colour and size and every 6th one was facing a different way, friends were starting to comment, eventually our GP decided enough was enough and we needed to have a specialist see him.

We finally got to see a specialist and where told that no decision would be made until at least the age of 7 but we had to have reports from agencies, some we had never heard of, he needed blood tests more than I have had in my lifetime, he reached his 4th Birthday and we were given the news he was ASD (autistic..High functioning) and was by now monosyllabic which was amazing, still no hugs or I love you mummy/daddy, but single words like bullet points in his mind, he had no empathy for anything, the bad when we cried or the laughs when we joked, its so hard on those around them, his temper grew as he did, his strength to run and open doors that were heavy for us as adults was outstanding but scary, he feared so much even cars driving down the road and he would run, in any direction for the fear consumed him, to us it was silly but to him it was real, we couldn’t allow him to walk in front of us, he couldn’t go to school on his scooter or bike.

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Riding a horse may come naturally to many but this achievement. was after many hours of hard work and commitment from a friend, teaching him how to deal with some of his fears.

He attends a main stream school with assistance, he is behind his peers educational but will full support we are hoping to improve it but it may never happen our son may always be behind, he is now 8 and still has major issues, it’s bad enough he has one label all ready, he loves football but he can’t play for a ‘normal’ team as he wouldn’t be accepted, so he plays for a team of children all with ASD, it’s been the best thing for him, we have tried other activities but they didn’t work out due to inappropriate behavior.

Why am I telling you all this, well just last week we received a letter from his specialist after his 6month review to be told that he now has a 2nd label ADHD, this broke my heart, a lifetime of medication may be the only way forward to help my son in the long term, but through friends and family I realised its only a label, he is my son a son who is slowly understanding what love is and what a hug can mean to someone a son I love with all my heart and will protect as I do my daughter, but what gets me is ignorance, people who live in perfect worlds, who expect everything around them to be perfect and those who are hypocritical towards others.

Katie Hopkins is media whore attention seeker who will say things about others without a care in the world about who she hurts, she doesn’t know me or my son but feels the need to slag him off, a need to offend just for kicks, I didn’t ask for my son to be this way and neither did any other parent, but that doesn’t stop us from loving, he is on the SEN at school Because he needs help to achieve better, to hopefully live a life in the future and contribute to society.

Here are a couple of photos from Katie’s twitter feed showing her ignorance as she didn’t even get the Learning Disability week correct instead calling it Learning difficulties.

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I really do worry how she would act if one of her children, grandchildren or friends relations were diagnosed, would she disown them?

Just in case you don’t quite get the message Katie….. OUR CHILDREN MAYBE DIFFERENT BUT WE LOVE THEM AND THEY LOVE US! proper parents don’t judge our children or others, its called ACCEPTANCE and EDUCATED, 2 qualities your obviously lack

 

Linking with T over at Mummy Barrow for Ranty Friday ( Yes I know its Tuesday)
MummyBarrow

 

42 thoughts on “#ThisISMyChild A child with ASD and ADHD

  1. Wow, what a totally ignorant individual she actually is! I tend to ignore most of the rubbish she spouts as she is just trying to make a name for herself – but these comments are truly horrendous – I pity anyone as small minded as her, but your boy is lucky to have such wonderful parents and has a fantastic life ahead of him.
    Andrea @loveandcake recently posted..Lollibop 2013 and the Skylanders ArenaMy Profile

    • Yes red haired people who again we don’t choose out hair colour and children’s names before that x I pity the poor woman x

  2. Good for you! I have ultimate respect for mums who have a child with LD – not because they’re children are difficult or different, but because of the grief other adults give them! Sadly that Hopkins woman will never understand – I almost pity her. Her short comings and refusal to understand the point of view of anyone must mean she is a very bitter and lonely woman. I can’t imagine anyone ever writing about her with the passion you have for your son! x x x
    Mary Keynko recently posted..Ranty Friday – Rubbish and LitterMy Profile

  3. Hi, my son has ADHD and autistic traits and he too is very behind educationally, and although the school admit this and can see it, he is not autistic enough to get a statement and ADHD doesn’t even get recognised for statementing. We were very against medication but eventually got convinced to have a 1 month trial which we agreed to with the attitude ‘we will do it to show willing and then say No’. it was the best decision we ever made, suddenly he calmed down, suddenly everyone else could see the sensitive actually quite serious little boy that was hiding under the loud, inappropriate one, he actually asked to stay on the pills. I hate the ADHD label but he is who he is, and he makes us proud daily, I just wish there was more understanding and a better tolerance for it. And there is no question my husband would be diagnosed ADHD now in his 40’s. Yes, people like Kate Hopkins are right, no-one was labelled 20 years ago and my husband wasn’t but he was expelled form school within his first year and sent to a special school due to his behaviour. People like her make me so angry but on the otherhand I don’t want to waste my energy on them.
    The Rambling Pages recently posted..This is My Child CampaignMy Profile

    • Thank you for your insight, we are still debating the mess at such a young age but your right and my husband would also agree that if they had the diagnosis back in the 60s he to would have the same labels as our son does now maybe not as bad ASD but his traits are significant x

  4. PS I also meant to say since starting the medication he has learnt to read and read well, we just now to go back and do the basics of writing, spelling and maths with him however pre-medication his attention span was assessed at less than 1 minute and he didn’t stand a chance with his learning x
    The Rambling Pages recently posted..This is My Child CampaignMy Profile

    • Now little man is an exceptional reader but only if it involves things he wants to read or he just won’t read so to the school his levels are below the age but in reality he can read better than most (hope that makes sense) x

  5. What a honest and insightful post. Thank you for sharing.

    I dislike Katie Hopkins with a passion – he’d outspoken, attention seeking ways get her all the publicity she could possibly want. Negative publicity is better than no publicity right?

    Wrong.

    One day her children will read her articles, tweets and interviews. She’s leaving a print of nastiness, ugliness, and destruction of a better world that those who have worked with, or care for people with special needs and learning disabilities have worked do hard to create.

    However – for her one tweet of nastiness there are thousands of positive, supportive and lovely tweets about supporting children and adults with learning disabilities and special needs.

    Hold on to those tweets and try to ignore the mess of a person that is Katie Hopkins.

  6. Oh Angie he was a beautiful baby and as you say there was no way you could ever know back then how his life would be and how it would impact on you and your family. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is living with such conditions, but you do not beause you are on a cause but because you ate a mummy, his mummy and your love is unconditional.
    Katie is an attention seeker and a has-been and rise above it, your post was a wonderful read. thank you for sharing and good on you x x
    jenny paulin recently posted..Peppa Pig On-Line Shop & Win a Peppa Pig World Family TicketMy Profile

    • Thank you, I have to add I’m grateful for him in teaching us also, we are lucky some don’t get the privilege of language as we do now but they get the joy out of their children through other communication x

  7. I have recently had to watch two families close to me deal with the impact of Autism and Aspergers and it has really opened my eyes. I am and always will be sympathetic to parents with children with learning and any other disabilities, but not in a “I feel sorry for them” sort of way but I have seen what a huge impact that it has on the whole family; it isn’t even about the now but the concerns for the future and what happens when they are adults and it is such a huge thing to have to deal with. Having said that, both children are beautiful, intelligent, bright, unique and totally amazing children and nobody will change that. People like that woman are ignorant attention seekers and do not deserve the attention that they get. From reading your blog, I think you are an amazing mum and your son sounds amazing too and yes he might be a bit different, but as long as you love him and support him, he will be just fine.
    Nikki Thomas recently posted..Possibly the worst car journey in the world ever ….My Profile

  8. I’m so glad that another mum’s blog led me to yours. I understand how it feels to have children with special educational needs. My sons met the developmental milestones and both seemed academically ‘bright’. Our own concerns over social difficulties, language and ignorance of danger led us to initiate assessments on one of our twin at 6 years old. We were told there were ‘ASD traits but no diagnosis’. So as our boys grew up we told ourselves that their lack of social graces must be down to bad parenting. When Year 7 teachers highlighted the other twin’s social and organisational difficulties and we noticed his absolute refusal to stick worksheets into exercise books or show workings in his maths book (coupled with his hurtful comments to me, when I became seriously ill), we initiated assessments which resulted in his diagnosis at 13 with ASD – and the team told us that in retrospect it seemed very likely that both twins have this. Which might explain why raising our children had always felt so much more difficult than other people made it seem!
    As you have recognised, Ms Hopkins seems to say things for effect and must enjoy her notoriety. Is she out to alienate every other parent in Britain? I saw a vile letter n Twitter yesterday, received by a parent of an autistic child from a neighbour. I wonder if that was written by this woman, whose views I find so objectionable.

    • Yes I saw that disgusting letter also, maybe why I was pushed to write, I’m grateful to have lovely neighbours x

  9. (I hope that my comment is taken in the manner in which I intend it to be, it’s open to interpretation at first as I struggle to make my point, so bear with!)

    I disagree with the statistic above about 1 in 5 needing SEN support in schools, as our school correctly identified around four years ago that *every* child has a specific learning need; every child needs help in some way, every child struggles, or every child excels. Every child. The point I’m trying to make in saying that, is that no child should be looked down on because of their potentially ‘abnormal’ ability to cope with the mainstream academic subject, every single child struggles at something and learning and teaching needs to be adapted to accommodate every single child. Therefore in that way, your child is no different to any other, on the surface.

    In reality, and your experience of this is so true, children with ASD need so much patience and support. It is a chemical ‘imbalance’ (? sounds unfair to say that) which causes ASD, their brains are just wired differently. You are an amazing mum to your little man; and I know that every milestone achieved is gargantuan for all of you. The picture of him riding the horse made me cry, because underneath he’s just a little boy who needs the same as any other; love, support and the opportunity to be himself.

    Big hugs.
    TheBoyandMe recently posted..The Washing Line (Flashback Friday)My Profile

    • That’s a lovely comment and yes after reading it You are right. Every child is individual, some need a little more gentle persuasion, confidence building etc

      I smile when I look at those images knowing how far he came, even my friend was pleased as we thought he wouldn’t do it. He did more tricks on the horse in 1/2hr than others do in months but sadly she can’t teach him officially so he won’t go to anyone :( x

  10. It is stupid women like her that make it harder for people to accept and fight (because you usually have to) for the help our children deserve!

    I am glad your son is coming along so well, and I think we appreciate it when they do things we’d normally take for granted all the more.
    Pinkoddy recently posted..This is my Child – UndiagnosedMy Profile

    • Thank you, I would love to see her volunteer at a school and see just how amazing any child with a disability is x

  11. I absolutely hate the fact that this woman is given a platform to air her ridiculous views. I actually struggle to believe that a mother can actually have these feelings and beliefs, I think it must come from living in a bubble. I’m so sorry that you have had to respond to such rude, insensitive, I’ll informed comments. I wonder if she truly knows the impact her poisonous words could have?
    The photo of your son on the horse is incredible, what an achievement!
    AtoZ Mummy recently posted..WOW Pack (Review)My Profile

    • No she doesn’t because if she did she would shut her vulgar mouth and keep her mouth shut, not many she can offend now x

  12. The anger I feel that this woman is still being invited to give her vile comments by the media…… I hope karma delivers her a large slice of humble pie one day. Your post has really touched me. What a lovely son you have, and what a wonderful, supportive family you are. Maybe we should all stop and think before we judge children/parents. Everyone is different, and until we’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes, we have no idea what they’re dealing with xxx
    Donna@MummyCentral recently posted..Frugal family fun with VoucherCodes.co.ukMy Profile

  13. She sounds like a vile woman, how lucky your son is to have you instead! All children are different and we never know quite what will happen with them, it’s up to us as parents to make their journey as easy as we possibly can and to try and help them be nice to others on their way. Sounds like Katie Hopkin’s kids are at a far bigger disadvantage than yours x
    Craftsonsea recently posted..The 3 Foot People FestivalMy Profile

  14. What a heartfelt post. I have a son with vision problems and some autistic traits, and he will be starting school in a couple of weeks. I am very worried about his academic ability, and about how his situation will affect his studies.
    The labels hurt so much. But they really can’t define our children. They are just a word, not the whole story.
    And as for that woman. Well, I rather think I shouldn’t write what I think.

    Got there through #BlogLoveDay
    Orli D recently posted..Everybody lost itMy Profile

  15. She is an annoying cow. I wish her husband or someone would drag her off to somewhere where she doesn’t have any access to the media! Her kids always look miserable in photos, I feel sorry for them. She has no right to make such statements about kids with special needs or learning issues. Maybe she should spend some time in a class room with a child with autism or ADHD or live with a family struggling with all the issues?
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  16. I would far rather spend time with your son, maybe having a one way conversation than I would having any kind of dialogue or even being in the same post code as that woman.

    Your son is amazing and every time I hear another story of something that he has done my heart cheers. He is incredible and will be a better human being that she will ever be.

    I pity her kids, and envy yours for having a mum like you compared to her.

  17. I try to ignore anything I see regarding Katie Hopkins, but just this morning saw her yet again on This Morning insisting that parents of overweight children should call them fat. As the mum of a child with special needs I am appalled by her tweets and comments on television. My special needs child is also overweight, so alongside his label of 22q11 Deletion Syndrome and ADHD I should now add the label “fat kid”. The woman is a bully, and it makes me worry what sort of role model she is to her children. Will her children be bullying mine in years to come?
    Karen Marquick recently posted..I have a favourite childMy Profile

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